i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
