is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize