you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
In America we eat man semen.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
