We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
