I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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