I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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