No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
