Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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