Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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