I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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