i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Is it because I queefed?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize