I'm drive I can fine osifer
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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