Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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