Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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