How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
