she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize