Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
