Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
