So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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