doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
