I can't watch pbs sober anymore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
