The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
