all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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