Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
