I'm so fucking centered right now
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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