Im at strip club and am horny
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
