That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My vagina is officially offended.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
