The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
