Fuck appropriateness.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
