if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
