You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
it's like heaven, but drunker
We just shotgunned beers for America
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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