i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
someone owes me an orgasm
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
