She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
