I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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