This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
