who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
