Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
