I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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