Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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