theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
