well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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