Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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