I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
