I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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