absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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