Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
