exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize