U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
