shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
