if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
