I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He did a backflip because drugs
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