Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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