Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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