The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
