Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
