I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
