haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
