im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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