We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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