so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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