jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize