Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
