Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
