mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
