She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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