I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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