Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He's a Shit stain on my heart
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
