I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I wish you could order shots online.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
