So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
