we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize