I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize