YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
