With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
