Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
