I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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